It’s Been A While…

Hey guys! I’m sorry I’ve been MIA for… well I don’t exactly know how long I’ve been missing. I would like to say thank you to those of you who are sticking around to check out my blog!

A lot of things have happened this month and I lost motivation to write about health or fitness much less makeup. Of course starting school again is stressful and a few big events are coming up that have taken a lot of energy. Those things were distracting, sure.

But then we received some bad news. A very close family member was diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer and I’ve felt a little lost not knowing how to help. My family member specifically does not want any phone calls or to talk about it by any means of communication.

It’s difficult for me not to reach out and help because that’s who I am. I want to help people. I’ve been researching it obsessively, I’ve read studies and personal accounts, I’ve listened to podcasts and highlighted all the useful information that I could find. But I have to respect his wishes to be left alone. Again, it’s hard for me.

I know it’s selfish to want to impose and help him so I’m giving him space. But I don’t want to be there for him by feeling sorry for him. I want to drive him to chemo, watch TV together, maybe get a ridiculously intricate LEGO spaceship or something to build together. I want to give him strength. But he’s not ready.

Cancer is a word that has scared me my whole life. A lot of people in my family have faced it. I don’t know if it’s genetics or lifestyle or a combination of both. It is why I’m so strict with my diet. I feel like every time I drink my veggie shake I’m giving my body the power to fight off anything. The power of sulforaphane!

I do have a small victory that I’m proud of: I have meditated for 100 days in a row! I’ve been meditating on and off since probably October but I’ve made it a point to meditate every day. I think it’s safe to say that it’s part of my life now and that’s it’s become a habit!

I look forward to meditating every day. It hasn’t only helped me with the news of my family member, but it has also helped me with my own problems of anxiety and depression. I feel calmer in my daily life and I find that I appreciate the little things more.

When I first started meditating I thought it would be impossible to meditate for 30 days straight, but I made myself commit! Also Headspace makes it easy to remember because they send you reminders throughout the day.

After I hit 30 days straight I felt more confident. Next came 60 days and then 90! Last night I got the notification that I have meditated for 100 days in a row and it’s the first time in a while that I felt genuinely happy. Or maybe it was just pride. Definitely excitement.

I will continue to make time for myself daily to meditate! If I can do 100 days the next hurdle is 200, then 300 and then 365! Meditating has been a fantastic means of self healing!

Thank you again for sticking with me! Hug a family member today and tell them that you love them! I also encourage you to take some time today to meditate. Even if it’s just a few minutes, it’s good for the soul.

Until next time,

Ash

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